Wednesday, January 19, 2011

New Year Shmoo Year

It's funny to me that I haven't blogged inbetween the last blog and this one, because alot has changed...

I'm back at school. This is my 4th semester you could say. And I did great last semester (3.9) and this semester should be good because I'm taking alot of studio art classes (Sculpture, painting 2 and mixed media) and even math isn't too hard yet. But what's really been bothering me is that I've come to find out how much people don't care about me...? If that makes any sense... yea yea "wow what a pitty party" but really... I put forth 110% into all my friendships and get 10% back. I feel like I care about others more than they do for me and it gets so frustrating. I've never had a wall up because I know how unfortunate it is to have to work for trust and friendship that should come free. BUT my "new years resolution" is to start constructing a wall that is so tall that only those willing to climb it will get to see me for who I am. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve because I used to be able to stand up for myself, but I gotta toss it behind that giant wall I'm building so it doesn't get stepped on again. and again. and again. I have to stop letting my "BEST FRIENDS" manipulate me and treat me like a pile of poop.

So, I guess that means my generosity and compassion for people is completely shut out for now. I have to be selfish for once, stand up for myself and take care of my BS before I even think about helping anyone else.

This is how I feel right this moment. Maybe things will change later but for now, Sorry.

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